Behind my smile

My shoe for raya

argh! statement tu sangat menyakitkan hati seluruh budak skolah ku!. aku pun terase jugak!!. sbb aku jugak pernah terhegeh2 nengok die. aku terase…. encik abdullah…..

my teacher maybe gya. owemji. the popular male teacher at my school is…. aku ade  reason nak tuduh die macam tu

- kat fb die, ade 900+ friends, 98% is male, 90% of the guys look quite hot, 50% of the them are semi-naked / pose sensualy

- kat flixter die, maybe die ade add some of the semi-naked mamat cause they say thanks to him for add them

patutlah kat fs die xde awek

(nie aku nye andaian je, strongly hope my andaian is totally wrong)

Best ar dpt tau pasal dorang ni. perasaan bercampur gaul (arr??) ye la… sometimes malu, sedeh, happy ect. aku jugak lurk at new teacher’s (or sir??) profile… well… quite sweet tapi aku xkesah sangat sbb muke ke ape tapi bayangkan die yg cam serious kat skolah ade life yg agak interesting sebelumnye.

aku xnak reveal blog aku kat sesiape pon sbb ade banyak rahsia (x juicy sangat pong). tapi kalo org tu pandai gunakan hint yg diberi (dan nak tau pasal aku but who??) akan dpt tau blog ini. aku nak wat life journalalah macam citekan ape2 yg belaku dlm hidup aku yg agak keboringan bagi org lain. but susah woooo nak consistent update

aku yg my so-called-good-friend-by-myself, B cam endah x endah je ngan aku rabu lepas. aku rase cam sedih (kalo dah sedih tu sedih je lah!) now I have to face the reality, i’m NOT her besties, just a friend. -sob3-.and I have to face it that i’m just a regular friend for most people.. well, I have a bestie, but, but……nevermind. my bestie is bestie to most good friends. I dont feel any special than my friends. aku xnak perkara 2 tahun lalu terjadik. aku sangatterhegeh2 jadi best friend seseorang, tapi die x hargai pong. xpernah pon die ajak aku satu group ngan die. I was so…… naive.

aku nak gambo aku kat website sekolah (kebende  aku merepek ni). tapi best gak. cikguS suke je letak gambo that group. -agakjeles-

aku dah malas nak update ngan bahasa dgn grammar yg betul. penat. kalo aku penat aku malas nak tulis lagi.. lantak lah.. yg bace pong mungkin bro azmie and org yg tersesat dtg sini. (or maybe my real life classmates (ade ke not real life ) lurking here, maybe). aku cume harap aku leh baca ape yg aku tulis ni pade tahun 2015 -amin- aku still x carik lagi bendealah simpan post2 blog kite.

result monthly test:

bm- 69 owh.. at first macam lega lah sbb aku x sangke pon leh dpt b+ tapi 70% of my classmates got A!! OW-EM-JI

BI - 73 quite okay

mt 61 OMG yg ni aku memang cuai. gile2 cuai. kalo aku x cuai aku leh dapat 90+

+m 36 aku nak lulus…… formule yg akuterlepas pandang lah yg banyak keluar.

sj 83 okay..

ag 58 sob sob sob lowest mark among my classmates!!!. tu lah x bace agame… naseb baik ade org same mark as me. aku perlu baca agama dengan sebaik-baik nye next test!

bio 66 okay, but hope for an A

fi 54 okay… because ramai yg gagal… (walaupon aku rase x lah susah sangat.. tapi aku x hafal formula)

ki 73 okay

tsw 86 okay

Tadi, aku dengan kawan baik aku ada gaduh sket. tapi kiteorang gaduh xde la sampai bertekak lidah cume masing2 nak betul je…

masalahnye camni.. kiteorang ade wat keje group sket, deadline dah dekat. kiteorang stress. aku tawarkan diri aku buat hampir semua keje. die mesti bengang je macam die x guna dlm keje group tu. aku ade suruh die wat keje sket. die tak paham so die tepon aku. tapi aku cam main2 tak serious. pastu die xnak tepon aku lagi. esoknye bile aku serahkan keje yg dah siap tu. ktieorang bertengkarlah. aku telah nangis

sebabkan nature kiteorng yg bertolak ansur(ecece) kiteorang xde pape pong

banyak sangat dosa yg aku dah buat

aku nengok perkara yang x senonoh

aku lawan/bentak cakap ibubapa

aku x tutup aurat sepenuhnya

solat aku tak sempurna

aku slalu mengumpat

dan banyak lagi…

aku tak tau macam mana nak berdepan dengan allah

hatiku belum kuat untuk melawan semua maksiat yg aku telah lakukan

antara sebab nya aku segan dengan org lain . segan sebab buat perkara baik

aku juga tak boleh menahan nafsu

yang aku harapkan ialah aku boleh kurangkan dosa yang aku buat

ameen…

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

I really want to be a real blogger, to update my blog at least once a week. But access to the net block me to blog (another reason: i have no mood to blog). I want to blog cause I have millions of idea and stories to share. I sometimes hope that everything I think automatically writen in my blog draft. So, I only have to edit and walla, thousands of post!

large hips - acceptable

large bust -acceptable

large waist - no! no!

I can’t look ‘woman’ enough with a large tummy on my body (ugly curve!). I want to lose at least 2 inch circumference of my waist (yet, my waist can’t look flat but okay, sikit-sikit lama lama jadi bukit!)

To do so I need to:

 1. Do jogging always!

I aim to jogging frequently this school  holiday

2. Move my body!

Can’t sit infront of computer too much ^____^

3. Eat less carbohydrates

less rice! less rice! less deliciousfood…….. =(

4. get motivators!

from my family of course, definitely not from my friends

(they’ll laugh at me!)

5. And the most important  thing is constant aim!!! constant work!!!

not like the previous GOFSE plan (’^_^) It stand for 3 days only!

Anyway, I’m going to have a mid-year exam this week. Gosh! It seems like yesterday is the first day of 2009 I enter the school!

I will have a scary mid-year exam this month. Very exited, afraid, hate-feeling and scare…

I must study smart for exam! I need to play less laptop ,play more book (book?)

I aim to get 5A, 5B this exam, do not aim high ^_______^

gambate!!